Flies Suck
by FreddysNightmare1984
Summary: Rita falls asleep on Ren and Stimpy's couch and wakes up in the middle of the night after a nightmare. she goes to Ren for comfort. just a cute little Ren/Rita oneshot, co-written with PerryRocks- Wolf Warrior


**hey hey guys! yet anohter oneshot with the RenxRita pairing (or Renita as i call it). i can't help it, i just _love_ those two kooks together! so i hope you enjoy this oneshot that my wonderful friend Sara (PerryRocks- Wolf Warrior) co-wrote with me. **

**DISCLAIMER: i _DO NOT_ own The Ren and Stimpy Show or it's characters. i only own Rita**

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><p>Ren and Rita were sitting on the couch watching a cop show. Stimpy had already gone to bed. Rita laughed when a cop started hitting the suspect with a nightstick. "Man, I wish I had a nightstick"<p>

Ren sighed and shook his head. "Why does that not surprise me?" Rita giggled and snuggled closer to him. "I'm getting tired" Ren said. "Maybe we should hit the hay"

"But I don't have a pitchfork"

Ren facepalmed. "I meant go to sleep!"

"_Oh_, silly, why didn't you just say so?" Rita giggled. "Can I sleep over tonight?"

Ren went O.O "why?"

"I'm too lazy to go back to my own house"

Ren sighed. "_Fine_, but you're sleeping on the couch"

"KK!" Rita grinned. "I love the couch...I named him Bob."

Ren facepalmed, "Whatever...I'm going to bed!" he got up.

"Say goodnight to Bob!" Rita called after him.

"_NO!_" Ren snapped, heading to the bathroom.

"SAY GOODNIGHT _NOW_!" Rita roared.

"**NO!**"

"DO YOU WANT TO HURT HIS FEELINGS!"

"IT DOESN'T _HAVE _FEELINGS!"

Rita gasped. "how _dare you! _YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF NERVE REN HOEK! NOW SAY GOODNIGHT OR ELSE...!"

"ALL RIGHT, _FINE!_ _GOODNIGHT!_"

Rita narrowed her eyes at him. "Goodnight _who?_"

Ren growled. "Goodnight... _Bob_" he growled through his teeth.

"Now, was that so hard hon?"

Ren growled again. "Goodnight Rita" he sneered, stomping off into his bedroom.

Rita giggled, "Night Renny Wenny!" She grinned and grabbed the remote. "Now that he's gone, I can go and watch mah favorite show!" She changed the channel until Watching Paint Dry was shown on the TV screen. Rita gasped as she watched the wall, which was coated in a dark green paint, dried. "OH god...it's so beautiful," she sniffed. She started to sob.

"_RITA! _CHANGE THE CHANNEL!" Ren barked from the bathroom.

"NO! This show is amazing..." she sniffed again. "It's so... _INSPIRING!_"

"Oy" Ren grumbled.

Rita kept watching the paint dry. "dude, this show can really change your life"

"Yeah," Ren said. "It can make me a retard."

"Aww hon, you're such a party pooper" she jumped up from the couch and hugged him. "But I still love you!"

Ren grunted as she hugged tighter. "Uh, I can't... breathe!"

Rita giggled and let go. "Sorry Renny"

Ren sighed. "Can you at least turn the volume down a bit?"

Rita nodded. "Sure" she kissed him on the cheek and went back to the couch. She yawned, feeling sleepy as she hit the volume button.

Ren sighed, "Thank you..." he went to his bedroom.

"No problem!" Rita called. She smiled as she kept watching the show. "They _totally_ need to bring this out on DVD" she mumbled to herself, trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. _"I can't fall asleep now"_ she thought. _"They're about to show the purple paint drying!"_

Suddenly... the TV show went on commercial.

"aww, _WHAT?_" Rita shouted. "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGEEEE!"

"_RITA!_"

"**WHAT!**"

"KEEP IT DOWN OUT THERE!"

"SORRY!" Rita called, grumbled to herself. she yawned again, stretching out on the couch.

She sighed, "Oh well..." Finally after what felt like a century, the show came back on.

"_Finally!_" she said. "I can now wa-" she fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Ren yawned, just starting to drift off to sleep. He was warm and comfortable, and relaxed for a change. His eyes were slowly closing...

"**AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!**"

Ren screamed and jumped up. Stimpy was still asleep.

Blam!

The door burst open and in came Rita, totally freaked out. Tears were in her eyes. "_REN!_" she cried, jumping into her boyfriends arms.

Ren blinked, "The heck, Rita! What is it?"

"I...I had a nightmare!" Rita sobbed.

Ren frowned. "About what?" he asked.

"I...I dreamed a stupid fly landed on the wall when it was still wet! IT WAS _STILL WET_, REN!" Rita cried.

Ren blinked. "You came running in here screaming for _THAT!_"

Rita nodded, her violet colored eyes welling up with tears. "It was HORRIBLE Renny, just _HORRIBLE!_"

Ren just looked at her, totally confused.

"THE STUPID FLY RUINED A PIECE OF ARTWORK!" Rita screamed.

"Rita..."

"I mean, why didn't it watch where the heck it was going? IT RUINED THE PAINT REN, JUST _RUINED_...!"

Ren growled. "_RITA_, CALM DOWN!"

The raccoon blinked, wiping her eyes with her arm.

"Look, just... go lie back down and..."

"WHAT! Are you _crazy_, man!" Rita yelled. "What if the fly comes back? WHAT IF HE RUINS MORE INNOCENT WALLS!"

Ren growled. He was starting to loose his patience (which he had very little of in the first place).

Rita frowned, her lip trembling.

Ren sighed. "look, just lie down and close your eyes, and try to think of something... nice"

"l-like what?" Rita stammered.

Ren growled. "I don't know, something that makes you happy!"

Rita sighed and nodded, plopping down on the bed.

Ren facepalmed. "Rita, I meant go lie back down on the..."

the grey raccoon scooted closer to him, snuggling up against him.

Ren went O.O "... the couch" he sighed.

Rita just purred.

Ren sighed again, putting his arm around her.

"Ren?" Rita said quietly.

"Yes?"

"I... I don't know if I can sleep again... what if the fly comes back with _MORE_ flies?" she frowned.

Ren sighed, "Calm down Rita...we have that bug zapper outside, remember?"

Rita gasped. "oh gosh, you're right!" she frowned slightly. "but..." she hugged Ren tightly. "But I'm still afraid! I don't have a fly swatter Renny!"

Ren facepalmed.

Rita sighed. "I... I'm sorry Ren. It truly scared me!"

Ren grumbled, trying to keep his temper in check. "It's all right now Rita"

"promise?"

The Asthma-Hound Chihuahua sighed and nodded. "_Yes_" he sneered. "I... I promise"

Rita smiled. "Good.." she snuggled closer to him and sighed. "I love you Ren" she said quietly.

Ren blinked, stiffening. He then sighed. "I love you too," he said.

Rita giggled, leaning up and kissing him.

Ren blinked and froze. He felt his face burn.

The raccoon pulled back, smiling up at him.

Ren blinked again, and shook his head.

Rita yawned, her eyes getting droopy. "you'll stay here with me tonight, won't you Renny Wenny?"

"uh... yeah, sure"

"promise?"

Ren nodded. "Yes"

Rita smiled sleepily and held our her pinkie. "_Pinkie_ promise?"

Ren growled, "_YES!_ Pinkie Promise! Now can I get some dang sleep!"

Rita smirked. "Come _ooonnn_, do the pinkie thing"

Ren growled and wrapped his pinkie around hers. "_There_, happy now!"

Rita giggled. "Yes hon"

"now let's _GO TO SLEEP!_" he growled again.

Rita fell asleep instantly.

Ren sighed as he looked down at her. He'd never admit it to anyone, but he had a soft spot for the lovely, yet manic raccoon. He hesitated a second before he leaned down and kissed her forehead. Rita smiled a bit in her sleep. Ren smiled, his eyes slowly starting to close. It didn't take long for him to drift off to sleep.

And Rita? Well...she dreamed she swatted the fly. Thank god its guts didn't splatter on the wall.

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><p><strong>heheh, Rita is so crazy... but that's what makes her perfect for Ren and vice versa! anywho, i hope you enjoyed this oneshot, and <em>please<em> review! let me know if you want to see more Renita oneshots, or maybe even a full fanfic.**

**-FreddysNightmare1984**


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